My mom, Frances Walker, passed away over 8 years ago. There is not a Mother’s Day since that I do not ache for her. However, I have learned to pull up my big girl panties and be the Mom my Momma would have wanted me to be. So in these times when I am filled with sadness I can hear her words so clearly, “Do not be sad. I am right where I want to be. So get on with it Caryn…” So, that is what I am trying to do. These little “whispers” from my Mom seem to come from her “sayings” and even her actions. So, if I could be granted one more visit with my Mom I would like to tell her how right she was about so many things. Who was I to question greatness? Well, I did and now the laugh is on me. Here are the 10 things I would tell Mom she was 100% right about…
10 Things My Mom Was Right About
- Yes, I am busier than a one legged cranberry merchant in an ass kicking contest. (This was her favorite saying when she got really busy) Being a Mom is all about juggling. Can you clean the house, run a lunch to school at a drop of a hat, and then get home in time for the cable repair guy all while working on a craft project? Well, it can be done!
- Don’t make more than one meal! You were right about not being a short order cook! Thank you so much for telling me to make one meal. Offer it up and then allow my kiddos to either eat or not. Priceless!
- Don’t put down the Pom Poms. Wow..I never realized how much mothering meant being my family’s cheerleader. You were the best at encouraging us through tough times. Defending us when we were wronged. But being there to pick us up when we did really stupid stuff. Like getting drunk at the Homecoming game and getting escorted out by the police….not a shining moment in my life! But you were there to make sure I learned my lesson – grounded for 3 months (with no reprieve) from tv and the phone!
- Model homes are for Barbie. I saw early on when you and Dad were married that living like that was anything but as perfect as it looked. You showed me that living in a museum is no fun. Looks great but not any good for the soul! Thank you for showing me how to make a home that could be lived in!
- Be the boss of your own self. Being my own woman is important. Thank you Mom for taking the risk of going back to school when I was in middle school. That had to be so scary. I admire that you stopped sitting on your biscuit never gonna risk it and went for it. I have done the same and do not think I would have tried had I not seen you do it!
- Friends come and go but the true ones are there to the end! How right you were in this. I still hear from your childhood and adult close friends. They loved you dearly and continue to honor you. I am blessed to also have a close set of friends that always have my back.
- Pick your battles. This one lesson is an everyday occurrence. I am constantly trying not to nag Caytie on what or what not to wear. Though I want to say so many inappropriate things I just think to myself, “How big a deal is this in the grand scheme of things?” Well it is not and Caytie can go to school in mini shorts, silver flats with hot pink Under Armour socks and some sort of ridiculous shirt plus bunny ears as a headband! Though I am screaming inside I just let her go….knowing you have to be laughing upstairs.
- Don’t squash their spirit. Mom, you were the best at that. I loved that you let me just go TRY things. You really liked the school of hard knocks and believed that I would learn better that way. Well, your right. I learned. Not always sexy the way I learned but the lesson was loud and clear. You let me cook, craft, dance, write and do whatever I wanted to try. Your only rule was to be safe. So, I am trying to keep my kids fences open so they can soar. My dreams are not their dreams. So, I am trying to let those personalities lead them….not a lot of fun sometimes. But, look where I am now. Had you not let me cook and grocery shop every Saturday….I might not be doing this right now!
- Love is not wrong. I appreciate your open mindedness growing up. You used to tell me that growing up in California you were not exposed to all of the prejudices of the 50’s and 60’s. You grew up in a town with all kinds of ethnicities and cultures. I can still remember asking you if it was “ok” to be friends with this person or that person. You simply told me to love them for them and just go on. Love is not wrong! God did not make any mistakes so embrace everyone and their spirit. Thank you Mom for teaching me to be a non-prejudiced person.
- In marriage, remember to be friends…the rest will fall in line if you do that everyday. Wow…that is the best thing you taught me! Jack and I will be married 20 years this August. I love him more than the day we said. “I do.” I contribute that to our friendship. I don’t always “like” his actions but in the end I am his friend. I will be there through the good, the bad and the not so sexy. By nurturing this part the rest has come much easier. I appreciate you telling me this early on. Not to lose sight of the man I married. I am very mindful to take care of this precious gift!
Those are just a few of the many other things you were right about. Thank you for being the best mother a girl could ever have. I am striving with all of my heart to be the same to my children. I want them to look up one day and say, “Wow, mom was right!”
Love,
Caryn